The Ashton Kutcher Marriage
“I wanted to be that girl. The girl who could have a glass of wine at dinner, or do a tequila shot at a party. In my mind, Ashton wanted that, too. So I tried to become that: a fun, normal girl… I made my own story up that he could have wine with… that he could do stuff (with). He’s not the cause of why I opened that door up. I wanted to be something other than who I am. And it was literally like giving my power away.”
~ Demi Moore
Flashing forward to the early 2000s, Moore started dating actor Ashton Kutcher, of That 70’s Show fame, a rising star who was 15 years her junior. They married in 2005, and amicable ex Willis was one of the guests. Kutcher enthusiastically assumed his place in the family dynamic, and they seemed like a powerful, if unlikely, star couple.
But for Moore, this marriage was quite a bit different from her previous ones.
First, there was her perception of how she needed to change herself to please her younger husband. She became codependent, losing part of herself in the process. Today, she says that she was “addicted” to Kutcher.
Second, according to Moore, Kutcher was not exactly supportive of her efforts at maintaining her long-term sobriety. At one point, she recalls him saying, “I don’t know if alcoholism’s a thing. I think it’s about moderation.”
So to appease his misconception about her disease, she relapsed and started drinking again, ending twenty years of sobriety. Because, as she says, “When you don’t have an off switch, you go until you can’t go anymore.”
Much worse, Moore claims that Kutcher would mock and shame her by taking pictures of her when she was drunk. “It was confusing. Ashton had encouraged me to go in this direction. When I went too far, though, he let me know how he felt by showing a picture he’d taken of me resting my head on the toilet the night before,” she writes in Inside Out.
“It seemed like a good-natured joke at the time. But it was really just shaming.”
Third, about two years into the marriage, Moore got pregnant, but it unfortunately wasn’t meant to be. She lost the little girl she had planned to name Chaplin Ray, miscarrying at six months. Devastated, Moore blamed herself and her drinking.
To cope with her emotional pain, Moore drank even heavier and started abusing Vicodin. And when she learned that Kutcher had cheated on her, things quickly went from worse to worst.